VIII – It'll (NEVER) Be Alright on the Night

1. Every Director should know how it feels to be Stage Manager

“The show’s all yours now”. Those are the words I’ve heard directors say to the Stage Manager once the production is ready to go, in the venue, in front of a live audience.

What they’re actually saying is: “I’ve done all I can, you’re now in charge of the final product so if anything goes wrong, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE!!! Oh, and I’ll be watching from the auditorium.”

Last week I was assisting the Stage Manager for Kentish Opera’s Eugene Onegin. It was a beautiful production (directed by Sally Langford), both set-wise (Enid Strutt) and singing-wise, we had good audiences and I was lucky enough to have a clear view from the wings every night (see picture).

But, of course, one has to be prepared for every eventuality. Here are a few examples…

i) Masking the prompt corner wing (where the Stage Manager calls the show from) was a ginormous ‘black’; a roughly 2m wide x 10m tall tower of wood covered in black material, held upright by two attached (or so I thought) sticks of wood set into weights. Every time the tabs (curtain) came in and out for the scene changes, this huge black would get knocked. Eventually this became too much for the two sticks holding it up and, lo and behold, the black began to fall… Luckily the stage manager grabbed it, I ran in to hold it whilst the scene change went on and someone else went to find a theatre manager. The scene change ended up taking 5 minutes longer than planned, and we had to go on to the next scene with me still holding up this enormous thing! All I could think was, if this goes down, I’m going with it; arse over face, on stage in front of everyone… Luckily it got fixed, and the show somehow even finished 3 minutes early…

ii) Props can be a nightmare, but special props are even worse. The shot of a gun in Onegin is rather central to the plot. Watching from the wings, we could hear the bullet (that makes the BANG!) fall out of the gun to the ground before it had been fired. Should we, as backstage crew, make a banging noise from the wings having heard the bullet fall out? Too late; we did not, and Lensky fell to his death at a silent gunshot…

iii) It’s one thing calling the Principals from their dressing rooms if you’ve notice that they're not on stage when they should be (this happened to me as DSM in my last show…) but it’s an extra pint of adrenaline when someone says: “Erm… excuse me Stage Manager, I know we're halfway through the show, but one of the Principals who’s only on in the penultimate scene hasn’t arrived yet…” With this final show going on an hour earlier than the previous four nights, it was highly probable that one person would be unaware of this fact and turn up by the skin of their teeth to get into their costume and on stage just in time…

Here’s the beautiful aria Lensky sings before getting shot (that is, if the gun works…) Also, a note to anyone using fake blood in their productions: it does NOT taste good, despite what the principals promise.

2. No zips on stage!

My brother is currently training to be an accountant. We couldn’t really be further apart in terms of career ambitions. Surprisingly, however, our two very different worlds were brought together yesterday by the Deloitte and Royal Opera House partnership: Ignite.

Two ladies from the costume department at ROH gave us a fascinating insight into how the costumes are made, used, restored and archived. I’ve never heard an audience so intrigued, vivaciously asking questions throughout. Here are some of the things that really stuck with me:

i) A typical costume budget for a new production is around £700,000.

ii) They never use any zips on stage – if it breaks, there’s no quick repair.

iii) One coat (pictured) for Tosca is sent to Denmark to be embroidered each time they have to make a new size. The embroidering is so intricate, you would barely notice the detail from the first row of stalls, let alone up in the Gods! However, designers now have to be very aware of every detail for filmed performances, especially with the recent introduction of 3D screenings!

iv) A cover was once flown in from America when the leading lady was taken ill. She arrived less than an hour before curtain up and had to be fitted into the costume (alongside hair, makeup and stage directions from the director…) in time for the show!

v) Every single costume is kept and they are usually adjusted for the next production revival rather than making new costumes for a new cast.

If only I had £700,000 to spend on my next production…